The greatest difference between Democrats and Republicans is that a Democrat knows when he is lying.

You can assert the same juxtaposition between men and women and I daresay Betty Friedman and Sigmund Freud would be challenged to disagree.

Truth without a cost? Love without a dream? And they wonder why the little circus has broken down.

Recently I became casually embroiled with a man I once thought I admired, which is rare, being that I am something of a misogynistic philogynist.

What I mean is, men are rather crass and irritating, a lot like Republicans. And while I totally support women taking up the bow, I would never allow them to trade one breast for that perfect bull's-eye -- folktale etymology be damned, with Janet Dykman as my witness.

Digression aside, this right-winger in question had the audacity to attempt a connection between equal rights for same-sex couples and the social acceptance of bestiality, which, as ignorant as it may sound, is not surprising to anyone who's ever heard Sarah Palin speak publicly.

Of course, even Rand herself condemned homosexuality as 'immoral,' which is by all standards an inconceivable, bubbling fountainhead of contradiction. (you're welcome, paronomasia).

The irony of Palin is that she represents women's greatest opportunity of earning the twenty-three cents on the balance of every dollar while simultaneously threatening the complete breakdown of the Atlas Society. But maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm the only one who sees Palin's 7-inch ankle strap platform poised over every little American girl's chance for equality, threatening to squash the 90 years of honest progression earned on the backs and knees of the Activist Movement.

All I'm saying is don't be surprised when McFarlane Toys crafts a Sarah Palin action figure complete with rhinestone panties, daddy issues, an M-21 sniper rifle and a layman's abridged version of the Second Amendment.

The greatest thing about this election is that you don't need a political IQ to have a strong opinion. I'm living proof of that. I waded through most of my life in neutral waters, thanks mostly to a very conservative Christian upbringing, and even now, having climbed onto the shore of reductionism and causality, I would never claim one path is right over the other. In truth, I subscribe more regularly to The Republic than I do our sacred Constitution. For all I know, our affiliations with India are stronger now than they were eight years ago. For all I know, our current President will be remembered quite differently in my grandchildren's history books than the cowboy caricature our media depicts him as today.

Like Obama says, this election strikes a very fundamental chord.

On the left, you have the silver tongue, and on the right, the heart of gold.

Uneducated Americans want to vote Democrat because it relieves them of undeserved, inherited guilt, and they want to vote Republican because they want to fuck Palin. Illogical to be sure, but that's what happens when your country's educational system ranks 18th out of the 24 nations on the UNICEF Study Panel. For me, the issues of sexism and racism come full circle here, completely at odds and in opposition with another. Unfortunately, the connection between homophobia and zoophilia will remain a mystery to me, but if you have the time, feel free to ask your nearest Republican for some insight.